I'm fat. Not morbidly obese, just obese. I'm a guy who has a fairly slim body but a big gut and man-boobs.This has snuck up on me slowly, over the last five years. I look alright, to me, in the mirror but when I see myself in photos, Oh My God. I am so fat. In my mind, it's not me. I am a skinny guy trapped in some fat guy's body.

I'm 54 years old. I don't drink a lot of alcohol but I love my coke. If I start a packet of biscuits (or cookies) or a block of chocolate, I can't stop until I finish it. The many times I've tried to diet, at night, when everyone is in bed, I binge. It's awful, I know while I am eating that I should stop but I don't feel guilty until I am sated. Then I ask myself why did I do that?

My very thin partner has often said to me, just eat less. Yea, well, I wish. Have I got an addiction to food? I don't know. I just know that I get the strongest urge to eat, feel my belly full, of anything. The sweeter it is, the better.

I snore. My partner, well, she would say that I snore louder than anyone. It's embarrassing to admit that I sleep in a different room to her. Even then, (she's a very light sleeper) she says that I often wake her through the walls. Often when I wake up, my uvula (the dangly bit at the back of my throat) is swollen, making it hard to swallow without feeling like it is going to go down into my stomach. I have visions of it thrashing about all night like a little punching bag while I'm snoring. I want to go back to my bed.

If you have shoelaces, try tucking a basketball into your shirt before you bend over to tie them up. I have to put my foot up on a chair and then lean around my stomach to do them up. Just to bend over to pick something up off the floor is a complex procedure, especially if someone is watching. I have to splay my legs like a giraffe does when it bends down for a drink.

I've suspected for a long time that it's not just ordinary fatness I have. There have been times over the years when I have been very careful with what I eat. If I then had one normal meal, I seemed to swell up like a balloon. I put any lost weight back on way faster than it should have happened. Something was wrong.

I was given a book called You Could HAve Syndrome X written by Sandra Cabot. Reading it, I kept having those AHA moments. The book was describing me and my symptoms. A fatty liver causing a chemical imbalance that makes me store fat. Then I put the book on my bookcase with all the dozens and dozens of similar books.

Two years later, if I have sweet foods at night, I wake up in the morning feeling like I have a hangover. For the last two weeks, by the time I go to bed, my feet and ankles are swollen with the skin stretched tight. These symptoms make me get the book out again. I also think I'm prediabetic, at least.

My partner keeps telling me to go to the doctor and get a test to find out if I'm diabetic. Hell, I'm a guy. I know as much as those doctors. That's what I tell her anyway. I really don't want to know officially. I'm positive I am at least prediabetic, I know what to do about it to reverse it and I don't want to be labeled a diabetic for the rest of my life.

Starting now, I will begin building my muscles which will burn fat. I'm going to cut out sugars and most highly processed grain.

My advice to you all, especially middle aged men and women, is to do some exercise, even if only 30 minutes a day, build some muscle, cut out sugar, especially artificial sugar and eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. Don't let yourself get fat.



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